Parent Exploratory Group...

Parent Exploratory Group Meeting
June 19, 2001

Second Blessing Christian Book Store, Mechanicsburg

Introduction --
This the first meeting of the "Parent Exploratory Group" (PEG) began casually at the Second Blessing Christian Book Store in Mechanicsburg with parents able to browse the shelves of Christian reading material while conversing and quietly getting to know one another. We then began the meeting in the store’s front area sitting on the couches, munching Hershey’s chocolate chip cookies and drinking lemonade. Our sincere thanks are extended to Mr. Pete Hamel, storeowner and station manager of Fortress 1230 AM radio for allowing us to use the Book Store.

Regrettably, the turnout for this meeting was somewhat smaller than originally anticipated. It is likely that the unavoidable, but rather sudden relocating of the meeting place was, at least in part, responsible for this outcome. We deeply apologize to any parents who may have been inconvenienced by this unexpected change and ask you please to understand the circumstances and forgive us. We warmly welcome you and all interested parents and friends to the next PEG meeting

A New Teens Web Site --
Following introductions, Matt Koons provided a brief report of his on-going efforts to produce a web site for teenagers and young adults. The new web site is intended to expand upon the lessons taught by Larry Evans to DCTS students through the Personal and Social Responsibility (PSR) curriculum and will parallel the "Affective Skills Web Site" now in place for parents.

Some goals for the teens web site include providing a home for Larry’s PSR course work that is easily accessible to students, development of a chat-type forum through which teens can talk to one another regarding affective skills topics, and creation of a testimonial area where students can relate to other teens the value of the PSR classes. Other ideas for the site include a place to rate music and a prayer list. Matt hopes to launch the new site within the next six weeks.

The Purpose of PEG --
We then exchanged our ideas concerning the purpose of PEG and our reasons for coming together as a group. Parents were portrayed as being far too much alone and isolated today in their efforts to provide for and nurture their children. One of the central purposes behind PEG is to produce an atmosphere of intimate and sensitive community between the parents and friends who participate.

In this setting it is hoped members may dare to honestly and openly bring to light the every day situations and difficulties that arise in raising their children and in sharing relationships inside and outside of the family. In turn they may expect the understanding and support of a close group of friends who themselves are going through very similar experiences. We may not always have the answers, but we will always do better together than apart; if a parent can leave a meeting with hope and one more idea or option than he or she came to the meeting with, then our effort has been a success.

Some parents expressed their desire that PEG provide them with concrete lessons and strategies for dealing effectively with their teens. We will endeavor to meet that request.

Activities for PEG --
In that light, we then turned our discussion to the types of activities that we might undertake as part of PEG. One suggestion put forward was to select appropriate books or other reading materials pertaining affective skills, read a selection of the material individually between meetings and then come back together to discuss, expand on and seek to apply what we have read.

Another idea involved the teaching of Connie Dembrowsky's new "Mastering Anger - Resolving Conflict" curriculum. We demonstrated a small portion of the Mastering Anger curriculum to give parents an idea of the content and to show the power and practical application of the material.

In the demonstration we illustrated the various types and degrees of anger using an activity from Lesson 2. It was shown that many different emotions from rage down to even simple irritation are actually forms of anger that must be recognized if we are to master our anger. We saw that how we deal with these forms of anger can have a major impact on how we react to invitations brought to us by other people and situations and on what we in turn give back to them. It is this cycle, and how we operate within it, that forms what we get in life.

The idea is not necessarily to eliminate all anger from our lives, but to understand and control our anger so that we can get what we truly want in ways that maintain dignity and respect for self and others.

We witnessed through a real-life example structured from Lesson 11 that the roots of our anger are much deeper and larger than we realize. Events can appear to trigger our anger, but it is these deeper feelings that truly cause our anger to be. It is important to realize that caring is at the heart of our anger. By defining this caring center, we can begin to modify our outlook toward the person or situation and move constructively to address the real issue we wish to resolve.

Open Talk --
From this, we moved naturally into an open discussion of issues and situations occurring within our families. We recognized that, particularly with teens, progress towards better relationships can be agonizingly slow and trying. But we also reaffirmed that, as parents, we truly love our children and that, at heart, our teens also love us. It is the elemental recognition of this love that provides us the strength positively, patiently and constructively to accept and continue with our teens even when they appear, on the surface, not to love us.

Next Steps --
Our group agreed that PEG should meet on an every-other-month schedule. The next meeting of PEG is tentatively scheduled for August at the home of a DCTS parent near the Manada Hill Inn on Route 39. Further details will be provided to all parents and friends through "Words of Caring"and on the "Affective Skills Web Site". This and all PEG meetings are open to everyone.

While no fixed activity was decided upon for the next meeting we will get together then to discuss the possibilities further. Another short demonstration exercise will likely be slated for the August meeting.

We adjourned the meeting in prayer.

-- John Borland --

Affective Skills Web Site

Last Modified: March 23, 2003

Parent Exploratory Group...

Parent Exploratory Group Meeting June 19, 2001

Parent Exploratory Group Meeting
June 19, 2001